From where?

From where have you fallen oh my soul? From where did you forget the glory and understanding that God at one time had bestowed on you? Where was it that you left this state and joined that of confusion and ignorance? 

Revelation 2:5

5Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.

Advise to myself

+ Care about the people you work with. Ask them how they are doing. Find what troubles them, what theyve been through, what they believe. Listen and relate to them. They will in turn care about you and work 10,000 times harder for you and with you.

+ Plan things explicitly. Have a goal, schedule, and responsibilities. People need direction, and something to be measured in. Dont define how to do things, but if any of those three are unclear, dont expect them to read your mind. Plus, when you get discourages or lose focus or run into opposition (NB WHEN), you can refocus on why you started and not make decisions based on what your stomach is saying.

+ Write ideas down. Write down your ideas and others ideas. It shows that you care and when you have all things down in writing, prioritizing becomes natural, instead of working on whatever is in front of you.

3 things I wish I was told before graduating

With graduation season around the corner, Ive been reflecting a bit recently. Hard to believe, but its been two years since I graduated and entered into the next stage in life. I recieved a lot of good advice, and some not so good advice. Just wanted to pass on my experiance…

1) Dont “wing it”
I recently stumbled across an amazing post by @MichealHyatt with a guide to planing your life. Take a couple days to explicity define whats important to you, define short term and long term goals. This gives purpose to your days as well as a yard stick for success. Without a plan, youll probably end up commiting yourself to things you really dont care about, spending extra time at work, or just killing time.

2) Watch what you eat
While this is good advice for physical food, it applies just as much to intelectual and spiritual food. If you eat too many twinkies, your body isnt going to respond as well as if you ate healthy. In the same way, dont fill your mind and spirit with the latest fads, movies, tv shows, books, or whatever. Just cause you like Jersey Shore, or Scary Movie 18, doesnt mean its what best for your body. Filter what goes into your mind – Garbage in, Garbage out. You create your reality. That doesnt mean ignore whats going on in the world, but it means cutting out the trash.

3) Be open to try anything, but be dedicated to a few things
After filtering out the things that hurt or dont help you, try things you normally wouldnt. Check out the local highschool drama, try out for the choir, go the the civil war reenactment with your crazy coworker. Youd be suprized how much fun some of them are. But dont take the highschool mentality of I can be a part of every club just to fill up my college resume. Find a few things that you have a passion for, and do them well. Dont try to do 10 things, do 2 or 3 well. If you focus your time, you can create a few things that are beneficial to you and others. If not, you will create many things with little or no benefit.

Why not just give money?

Recently, I came back from a three month sabatical in Maseno, Kenya serving with the coptic mission. When I got back, someone asked me an honest question that I had asked myself before – wouldnt it be more help just to donate the money you used for the trip?

Now for me to speak against almsgiving would just be stupid. Anyone whos ever read Saint John Chrystoms “On Wealth and Poverty” or any of the sermons he gave knows that he never ceases praising charity and the necessity of giving to those who are in need, being faithful stewards to the money God has given us. And anyone who does give to charity can testify that its benefit, not to mention the biblical command of tithing and the verse “God loves a cheerful giver”.

However, I believe that just giving money often falls short of what God wants for us. The man who asked this has two children who require food, schooling, clothing, and housing. So I asked him what was better: to give money to support their needs or to take responsibility and raise them. He answered the latter. Did Jesus Christ just send resources so that we could feel better, or did he come and teach us, show us, and even die for us to save our lives?

In the same way, we should give our lives for the children of God. Almsgiving is great, but Jesus calls us to follow Him. The problem is that there arent enough people who love the Lord enough to do that. We talk empty words saying that we love God, but when it comes to anything that cuts into my conveniece, we shy away. Does a parent take care of their childs needs after making sure they have everything they want from themselves? But we only give God and our brothers whats left over after we have given ourselves everything and anything our heart desires.

To our shame, atheists nationally give more money to charity than Christians. Anyone can give money to others to quiet that voice inside saying we should help. But Christ calls us not just to give money, but to give ourselves. Christ calls us to love others as He loved us. Who is willing to answer the call to follow Him?

Its not what you do, but how you do it…

I have spent a good portion of my life debating what I should do. Doctor or Engineer? Tech or HS? Here or There? This way or that way?  The indesiciveness has driven me to madness on many occassions. My favorite example is when trying to choose which route is faster when driving to a destination, Ill take more time trying to decide which way is faster than if I had taken the longer route. But on a more serious note, I cant count the hours spent trying to find out what God wants me to do in my service, or relationships, or life.  But the message Im getting now is that its not what I choose to do, but how I do it.

Ive seen trash collectors whos service is more praiseworthy than doctors. Ive seen technology meetings with more spirituality that Midnight praises. Ive seen a silent person change the lives of others more than a preacher.  Ive seen a cook that had a better understanding of God than theologians. Whats the difference? The way they do it.

St Paul famously says in 1 Cor 13, the chapter of Love, that

“1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

To me, this is relieving and distressing – relieving because all the pressure that I put on the importance of what I will be in life, has little or nothing to do with what I do.  But distressing because in the many things I do without thinking around me - interactions with family, coworkers, and catecumens – I need to do with an attitude of love and enthusiasm, which isnt easy when people dont meet up to the standards you want, or are yelling at you, or inconsiderate, or the countless things that so easily change my frail perception and mood.

“And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for[a] you serve the Lord Christ” Colosians 3:23

Ill never be like that

I cant count the number of times that I said those words. I would look so critically at many things that older people said and disregard it as a result of becoming bitter and cold from experiences. I would think in my head of the need to reform their thinking/actions and how to show them their error. Id have bible verses lined up and everything. I still believe that bitter experiences in life wrongly change the way we view and act, but Ive found myself finding reason and justification behind those very things I disagreed with.

The example that spurred this post is the Agbeya. It seemed like such a dull replacement for real prayer – reading in monotone, noone understanding the words their saying, somewhat confusing in skipping around, I had 1000 reasons why. Another example fresh in my head is fasting – church canon says to fast until 6pm every weekday of lent. I had expressed to a few close friends how much this bothered me, that it should be done out of love not told. But what Im finding in myself now is that the problem is not the rules of the church, just my perception. Recently, Ive found the Agbeya to be one of the deepest prayers when prayed, not read. Ive found fasting to be a shield that protects me from so many devils and demons in the form of temptations and evil intentions/desires. Its so easy for me as an immature person to only see my perspective and to believe that my perspective is right. Even more dangerous for me is the thought that “I’m right, but no one will understand me if I say it so Ill just keep it to myself”. So in this way, the devil deceives me into holding on to incorrect beliefs and prevents me from benefiting from the experience of others or being corrected.

Regardless of how “unpopular” or “outdated” or “strict” our church is, it is one of the few sources of honest wisdom that seeks our edification and growth.

Diabolic War

Lord Jesus, there are so many pitfalls the devil has put before us, so many ways to fall from the glorious life you want me to live. No matter which way I look or go, Lord there holes covered by veils of righteousness or purity, but lead to sin. Who is able avoid all these? Not even Solomon in all his wisdom nor David in heart of hearts. Lord, I submit to you all my life. Lord, I submit to You every desire, every thought, every action: those which appear clean and those which appear unclean, those that I like and those I dont like. I submit to You, I submit to Your church, I submit to my fathers. Provide in this next week a hedge around us, that in the times of Your passion, there is no place for satan and his wiles, but only the true demonstration of Your love for us. Through the intercessions and prayers of the saints who peased you since the begining. Amen.

Be courageous in God, and do not get desperate…

Hearken then to the words of the apostle, ” be steadfast, immovable.” (1 Cor 15:58)

Be courageous in God, and do not get desperate…

Do not get desperate however powerful the wars of the devil are.
Do not get desperate no matter how many times you fall and forget the commandments and fail in your practices.
Do not get desperate if the beginning is weak, or unsuccessful or wasted.
Say to yourself, “All these are mere wars and I will cleave to God.
I shall go along the way to God even if I pull my legs with difficulty…
Even If I fall a hundred times on the way, I shall rise and proceed on my way…
I shall never accept despair because it is from the devil.”

Diabolic Wars, HH Pope Shenouda – Page 76

SmGS Update

By the grace of God, our small group has been meeting semi regularly for the past two month, listening to Father Anthony’s Series on the Song of Songs. Already, people are feeling a bond and looking forward to meeting, and God willing we will continue to grow and glorify the name of our Father and his son Jesus Christ and that the Holy Spirit guide us and eventually lead us to ministering to others.

Prayers Requested

How Great is our God

I really feel stupid – alot. Its ridiculous how many times God “proves” himself to me, and how ten minutes later I’m ADD with something else. This really is the story of my life but here are two examples.

1) We are preparing to go to Africa in a couple weeks – and its getting to crunch time.  I helped out last year in organizing the luggages and stuff, and there were so many ways that God intervened in providing, from getting the things to shipping and customs, he provided for us.  Well this year, we had nothing of the large amount of things that we are supposed to take to support the mission. PANIC! thats what I did. Forget how God provided last year in the same situation or even more how he provided for us when we were in Africa. What happens? I get a couple emails from a person saying that they got so many items, than another email saying they got more, then a text message saying that we got $500 of medication donated.

Overall, its a message I’ve probably “learned” 10000 times.  God doesn’t need me, he wants me to participate in service just as a witness to HIS GRACE, a believer in HIS POWER, and an intercessor through PRAYER.  Anyone can run around and stress over a situation (like what I did), but it takes someone who really trusts God to put it in prayer.  And we really do have every reason to trust in our Father.

2) The book of Job – this made me realize how Im so easily swayed by the wind.  The book would go back and forth between Job, who says how God is sitting there in heaven unfairly focusing this torment on him, and his friends, who become Gods lawyers in advising Job.  I found myself swayed by every single arguement. When Job was speaking, I would think man God is really unfair to us.  When the friends would speak, I would think I am just a dust particle in the sands of time – God has revealed himself so many times to us as the Lover of Mankind.

Clearly, I know God is my loving father.  No arguments needed.  But I was tossed by all these arguments, even though eve3ry single one was wrong – both Jobs and the friends.  I hear so many arguments, especially living in academia, for and mostly against God – and for what? Because people are bored and dont know what else to talk about or God knows what reason.  The arguements in Job were directly related to these to me – wasting 36 out of 42 chapters on useless and vain thoughts.  But rest assured – God is my loving father.